Believing In You

I wanted to make a blog to inspire people, and help anyone struggling trying to just survive, or even someone just living, and all you do is work. Or even someone who has been single for years. I have learned in life that if you want something bad enough you will chase it and get what you want if you really want it. Life is hard, life is real, the struggle is real for some, and for others life is a breeze. As an adult, I have been through ups and downs. I think everyone has, and I do believe everyone has a story to tell. Life is a journey, and in life some seek to find themselves, some soul search, some just follow what they believe is what they need to do, and some don't understand or even know what they are suppose to be doing. Sometimes I wonder what my path is since I hold so many talents its unreal and want to do so many things. And not just focus on one thing. But then you have people that will tell you oh you know, if you wanna be this or that, you should put all your focus and energy in that one thing. No, you don't have too, of course you can, and yes its OK to do that, but if you tried that and it didn't work out, OK do something else. Sometimes I wonder, well am I ever gonna fully do what I want, and be focused and driven on things I want in my life, that make me happy. But then I have to ask god is this what you want me to do, cause I am lost a lot, and always questioning what I am doing, but I just keep going and pray that god guides me in my paths and hopes that he approves in my goals and journeys in life. The main thing I have been praying for is that god brings me a loving, faithful, husband one day. And its funny cause I have been single for what feels like forever. I have dated here and there, but men come and go and then It makes me question, is something wrong with me, then I just start realizing its not me its the men, they are not ready for love or commitment or scared of what, I don't no who knows only God. So probably they go cause they can't handle a women who knows how to be honest and loving to them. Not only that, but its our society, and the day and age we live in, men now a days they don't want long term, they want buddies, or short term be with you then on to the next type of relationships, and its all men at different ages not just the younger ones. You would be surprised some of my last boyfriends and dates the ages of them, you would think they would be married at those ages, or atleast thinking or planning marriage, it's really sad, because as I get older, I start loosing hope that I will ever be in a relationship that's long term again. I am to the point, where I just wanna be alone and do me, and just focus on my goals and priorities. Then my friends just tell me I am acting weird, but I cant just keep trying, and dating and getting the same type of men its annoying. I would rather be alone and do me, then miserable and involved with the wrong person. I am not desperate and I know my worth and I miss being younger sometimes. Only cause I use to have boyfriends, that are like ride or die types, but I was just young and dumb and always jumped out of being with them, cause I didn't wanna be tied down to know one. I am originally a southern girl raised in the south of Alabama by my mom who is kenyan and father that is caucasion we traveled alot as a kid but lived in Las Vegas for 12 years and in Los Angeles for a total of 4 and half years. But I find it interesting that as many times as I have been here in L.A how much of a struggle it is for a lot of people to live here, and stay, and find full time jobs and apartments. I don't know what it is about L.A, but I wanna say its one of those cities where it is hard to find a good stable full time job, unless you know someone who is helping you get in or something like that. And I feel like they make it hard on purpose, cause so many people come out here and end up leaving to go back to where they originally moved from, within 6 months to a year, even some 3 to 4 months or become homeless. I think its the whole everyone comes to L.A to be famous, so It makes people some what jaded. I can remember when I first moved out here, and I stayed for 3 years while in school. I knew this chic who was an  actress  in classes daily spending money every week on coaches, and training, like crazy. I watched her struggle and she even left for 6 months and came back out again to L.A. She was really trying to break into the whole acting world. People will stay here homeless. Me on the other hand, If I have to move and go I'm out lol. I got family a little every where so I just take it like a vacay and go stay with my family and come back out later before I let myself live homeless in a city, for what to chase a dream, no offense but oh heck no, not me, sorry I will do something else thats just me. So I guess what I am trying to say if you wanna do something or be someone do it. But also know to, if you are moving to l.a from your original town or city to be something or do something new, come prepared and save up, don't just jump here and jump to be in a struggle to live in a city, where it may take a lifetime to break into this industry for some, and others just get in. But also find a purpose and goal for you in your life, and follow that and try to have a good reason and goals to be able to use your god gifts talent for good, in our crazy world and society of today. Just some tips and advice my own opinions for someone reading my blog thanks hope you enjoyed